I might be overly emotional when I’m exhausted or have been through hell. I make stupid decisions because sometimes, I’m ruled by emotion. But, if you cut me out of your life because of that, then you’re losing someone who will truly care about you. And I might miss you, and I might stay awake wondering what the hell I did to be treated like this, but know that that’s only temporary. I will get over all of that and be stronger because of it. I will get over it. And I’ll move on, and become the strongest person possible.

Love is not a maybe thing.

My mind scares me sometimes.

It’s not the million of thoughts I worry about, I can deal with them, it’s that one thought that can occupy so much space in my mind; it could drown me down. How just one thought can bring out my insecurities, fears, and worries is quite terrifying. How just one thought can push every other thought out so easily, like the feared bully on the playground. I’m not afraid of having too many thoughts, I’m afraid of having one that can nearly destroy me, mentally.

I'm so in love with you, it's insane.

I’m sorry I always hurt you. I’m sorry I’m a bitch when I don't try to be. I’m sorry you think I’m mad at you when I’m really not. I’m sorry you think I’m trying to mold you or you have to change who you are for me because I love you just the way you are because I always have and I always will. I’m sorry I have outbursts of anger that can hurt you. I’m sorry you think I’m not as understanding as I really am. I’m sorry that I can’t control my emotions and that when you see them it’s usually when I’m about to break.
I’m sorry I don’t tell you everything. I’m sorry you think it’s because I don’t love you and I don’t trust you but really I don’t want you to have to worry about me too. I’m sorry that I can’t be better for you. I’m sorry that I’m really a horrible person. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I’m sorry I’m so unfair to you because I am. I’m sorry you think I don’t appreciate you when you’re the only thing in my life I’d do almost anything to keep in my life. I’m sorry I’ve taken advantage of you. I’m sorry I did what I did. I’m sorry I make you feel like you’re always doing something wrong when you’re not.
I’m sorry I’m such an asshole. I’m sorry I probably make you regret coming into my life. Sometimes I’m sorry I was born then you wouldn’t have to deal with my shit. Most of all I’m sorry for adding to your pain. But I want you to know that I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I need you. I love you. I love you so much. I know you don’t understand how much or why, but I do. I’d do anything in the world for you. Even if it meant I’d die trying.
I love you to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above. I promise, I promise. I just want you to realize how much I care. When I hit rock bottom everything is bad, everything is a lie, everything is horrible, everything hurts and nothing is beautiful, everything is magnified 20,00 times and it’s not your fault. But when I come out of it and you’re the light at the end of the tunnel, I’m glad I survived it. You made this world tolerable. You kept me going. you still do. Always always. I just want you to believe that I’m here for you.

I trust you with my heart, I trust you with my mind. I trust you with everything.

I hope you know that. I love you. I trust you.

Loud enough to break the silence.

It was when I met you when I understood love songs and why couples danced with each other. I understood kissing and why it was the most beautiful thing. I understood why heartbroken people cried and why they stayed away from everyone when their hearts shattered because they needed their space to fill it with voice of their lover whom break their hearts and to bring their hearts' pieces together then break them again. It was when I met you when I understood what life was all about and why people stayed late at night thinking about that someone.

I would like to publicly say that I’m falling for you. You and all your goofy, corny ways. You already mean the world to me. All day, every day, I’m thinking about you. You, us, everything. You’re honestly such an amazing person in every way. You’re what I’ve been looking for. We literally fit together like a puzzle and only you and I know the extent of that. From that first meet, I knew there was something about you. And now look, I’m hooked.

It's just nobody's ever looked at me the way you did.

I think I’ve finally realized that just because some things will always hurt, it doesn’t mean the pain deserves to be a part of my daily life.
Holding onto it gives it a hold on your whole life. And I’m past the point of needing it around to keep me safe. I’m past the point of letting it control my life.
I’m finally ready to be as sincerely happy as I deserve.