I’m sick of going home every night with no one to talk to. I feel useless, it makes me feel so alone. It sucks not having someone there to talk to, or help you when you are feeling down.I am running out of things to tell myself that things will get better.my confidence is getting lower by the minute.
Everyone always says “good things come to the ones that wait”.
That is complete and utter bullshit. I have done my time, I have waited enough and I don’t have the energy to wait any longer. This is me giving up. I don’t have the energy to get my hopes up and watch them get crushed anymore.
I want to tell someone so badly what I am going through, but I know they’ll only judge me, consider me a failure because I made so much progress only to slide all the way back down into the hole that I manage to keep making deeper. I dare not tell anyone, but deep down, under all the walls, all the fake smiles and fasle anwers to the question “How are you doing?”, I wish and I yearn for someone, somewhere, to look striaght through me and see that, I am wasting away, dying inside and screaming for someone anyone to understand. I’m so upset, I’m so sad, I’m so lonely, I’m so ugly, I’m so stupid, I’m so useless. Every day I am struggling with this pain in my chest that won’t go away and keeps getting bigger heavier and with each moment more and more unbareable. No one knows what I’m going through, and I am certain no one ever will. I’m a waste of life.
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