♥

Being a girlfriend.

Being a girlfriend is not just about being beautiful and attractive for your guy. It’s not just about letting him chase you, letting him do sweet things every time you’re mad at him and not just receiving flowers and gifts during your anniversaries.

It’s not about doing those girly things just to get his attention and not just about feeling mighty every time he did everything you want. It’s also being an emotional partner wherein you support him in every opportunity that he takes, you appreciate everything that he does for you and you thank him for doing it, you remind him on the things he must do and what he must not.

Just because you know that you can always keep him on his feet, doesn’t mean you can manipulate him. You understand him not just as a partner but as individual too. you help him in every way showing him, that in a relationship, there’s no “I” or “you”, there’s only “we” and “us”.

You know also that a man has their ego, and even when it become a little irritating sometimes, you still understand that it’s a part of his nature. A girlfriend is not just a term, it also has responsibilities that every girl must know.

You’re a friend, a sister, a second mom, a teacher, and a best friend.

Good vibes.

"When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you do good."

I might be overly emotional when I’m exhausted or have been through hell. I make stupid decisions because sometimes, I’m ruled by emotion. But, if you cut me out of your life because of that, then you’re losing someone who will truly care about you. And I might miss you, and I might stay awake wondering what the hell I did to be treated like this, but know that that’s only temporary. I will get over all of that and be stronger because of it. I will get over it. And I’ll move on, and become the strongest person possible.

Love is not a maybe thing.

My mind scares me sometimes.

It’s not the million of thoughts I worry about, I can deal with them, it’s that one thought that can occupy so much space in my mind; it could drown me down. How just one thought can bring out my insecurities, fears, and worries is quite terrifying. How just one thought can push every other thought out so easily, like the feared bully on the playground. I’m not afraid of having too many thoughts, I’m afraid of having one that can nearly destroy me, mentally.

I'm so in love with you, it's insane.

I’m sorry I always hurt you. I’m sorry I’m a bitch when I don't try to be. I’m sorry you think I’m mad at you when I’m really not. I’m sorry you think I’m trying to mold you or you have to change who you are for me because I love you just the way you are because I always have and I always will. I’m sorry I have outbursts of anger that can hurt you. I’m sorry you think I’m not as understanding as I really am. I’m sorry that I can’t control my emotions and that when you see them it’s usually when I’m about to break.
I’m sorry I don’t tell you everything. I’m sorry you think it’s because I don’t love you and I don’t trust you but really I don’t want you to have to worry about me too. I’m sorry that I can’t be better for you. I’m sorry that I’m really a horrible person. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I’m sorry I’m so unfair to you because I am. I’m sorry you think I don’t appreciate you when you’re the only thing in my life I’d do almost anything to keep in my life. I’m sorry I’ve taken advantage of you. I’m sorry I did what I did. I’m sorry I make you feel like you’re always doing something wrong when you’re not.
I’m sorry I’m such an asshole. I’m sorry I probably make you regret coming into my life. Sometimes I’m sorry I was born then you wouldn’t have to deal with my shit. Most of all I’m sorry for adding to your pain. But I want you to know that I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I need you. I love you. I love you so much. I know you don’t understand how much or why, but I do. I’d do anything in the world for you. Even if it meant I’d die trying.
I love you to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above. I promise, I promise. I just want you to realize how much I care. When I hit rock bottom everything is bad, everything is a lie, everything is horrible, everything hurts and nothing is beautiful, everything is magnified 20,00 times and it’s not your fault. But when I come out of it and you’re the light at the end of the tunnel, I’m glad I survived it. You made this world tolerable. You kept me going. you still do. Always always. I just want you to believe that I’m here for you.

I trust you with my heart, I trust you with my mind. I trust you with everything.

I hope you know that. I love you. I trust you.