Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I'm so in love with you, it's insane.

I’m sorry I always hurt you. I’m sorry I’m a bitch when I don't try to be. I’m sorry you think I’m mad at you when I’m really not. I’m sorry you think I’m trying to mold you or you have to change who you are for me because I love you just the way you are because I always have and I always will. I’m sorry I have outbursts of anger that can hurt you. I’m sorry you think I’m not as understanding as I really am. I’m sorry that I can’t control my emotions and that when you see them it’s usually when I’m about to break.
I’m sorry I don’t tell you everything. I’m sorry you think it’s because I don’t love you and I don’t trust you but really I don’t want you to have to worry about me too. I’m sorry that I can’t be better for you. I’m sorry that I’m really a horrible person. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I’m sorry I’m so unfair to you because I am. I’m sorry you think I don’t appreciate you when you’re the only thing in my life I’d do almost anything to keep in my life. I’m sorry I’ve taken advantage of you. I’m sorry I did what I did. I’m sorry I make you feel like you’re always doing something wrong when you’re not.
I’m sorry I’m such an asshole. I’m sorry I probably make you regret coming into my life. Sometimes I’m sorry I was born then you wouldn’t have to deal with my shit. Most of all I’m sorry for adding to your pain. But I want you to know that I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I need you. I love you. I love you so much. I know you don’t understand how much or why, but I do. I’d do anything in the world for you. Even if it meant I’d die trying.
I love you to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above. I promise, I promise. I just want you to realize how much I care. When I hit rock bottom everything is bad, everything is a lie, everything is horrible, everything hurts and nothing is beautiful, everything is magnified 20,00 times and it’s not your fault. But when I come out of it and you’re the light at the end of the tunnel, I’m glad I survived it. You made this world tolerable. You kept me going. you still do. Always always. I just want you to believe that I’m here for you.
I trust you with my heart, I trust you with my mind. I trust you with everything.
I hope you know that. I love you. I trust you.

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